Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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