Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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