Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
