Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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