Will you blow on my dice?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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