then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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