So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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