you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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