So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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