it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
