You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
im drinking this country out of the recession.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
