The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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