He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have aggressive nipples.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
