the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
True strength comes from lack of pants
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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