I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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