I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize