Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
