I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
