You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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