dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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