for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
