i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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