I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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