Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
