WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
