I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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