I just pynch a tree in the face
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
