So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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