She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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