Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
