Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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