I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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