she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
