You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
