i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
