Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
how drunk are you?
Several
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i out mim tonsoeep
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
