I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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