i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
