so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
