very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
