I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
