Need sex. Gaining weight.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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