MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
