I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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