They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize