Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
