her vagine was all disorganized.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
