Sry I called you an 8
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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