Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
