dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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