i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
