you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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