I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
