She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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