why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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