So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My cat gives me a boner
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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