The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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