And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
